The other day, I crossed a pesky item off my to-do list – cleaning out my closet. It’s an activity & chore that most people don’t exactly love, & I can definitely see why. Not only is it tedious to go through everything & decide if you’re keeping it, or donating it, but it’s also… depressing.
I came across so many items that no longer fit… & to be a bit more specific, some items that I can’t even get over my thighs! Talk about a bummer. Several of these items were size 4 pants, & small sized shirts… let’s be honest here, I’m no longer any size 4. I wish I was, but that was in the past.
Actually, thinking back more on it, that was back in around 2008/2009 when I first lost that 50 lbs. That was roughly 6 years ago, & I was about 27 years old…
Well, I’m no longer in my 20′s, and am definitely not a size 4, or even really a small… more like a medium & maybe a size 6 or 8.
It’s hard for me to put all this out there & say that I am not the same size anymore… & to realize that I’ll probably never be a size 4 again. I felt really bad about myself for a while after cleaning my closet out, but you know what? I’m not in my 20′s anymore. I’m not eating the same way I was then. I eat SO much cleaner & better than I ever did in those years. When I was smaller, my life was filled with constant calorie counting & always choosing the “diet” version & watching what I ate. I ate so much fake food & diet food, that it makes me sad thinking about it now. That body was won by restriction.
Sure, I worked out & thought I was eating right, but I’ve learned SO much more now. I now what REAL food is & the power of whole foods & proper nutrition in combination with a healthy lifestyle.
I’m trying to make peace with my current body. This body is fueled more properly, not restricted, & it’s strong! I can do so much physically & I rarely get sick. I don’t count every (any) morsel that goes into my mouth these days, I just focus on mostly eating REAL, whole foods with an occasional treat. I also am sure to get plenty of activity & some strength training in as well. I know I have more muscles than I had back then! I could probably kick my former self’s butt.
I’m not trying to throw myself a pity party (at least not anymore), but just trying to say that even when we feel bad about some changes in our bodies, they aren’t always bad. We age & change over time, that’s life. I’m trying to embrace my curves since I already love & value the strength & health of my body.
There is always something good to be found. It’s time to make peace & treat myself to some new clothes that flatter my strong body & curves. Healthy comes in all shapes & sizes.
Don’t forget to do something nice for yourself today, you deserve it! xoxo